So there has been the long standing question of whether or not a couple can remain friends once they have broken up.
I would say yes depending on which attraction the relationship was based.
For the purpose of this entry we'll call the different types of attractions intellectual, emotional, and physical.
If the relationship was based on physical attraction and most of your time together was snuggling, making out, and/or sex then I would say that a friendship should not ensue post-breakup. One of the involved parties would likely still have those physical attractions and the only thing in their brain would be the possibility of getting back to the point of physical interaction whereby the romantic relationship would not have ended for that particular party.
Emotional attraction gets a bit sticky because the couple has put a lot of work into one another and the relationship. There has grown a level of dependency that becomes difficult to step away from once the two decide the relationship is not to continue. For this, I would say yes a friendship is plausible but once there has been some recovery time. Time to get over on another. This time would largely depend on the length of the relationship and the intensity therein.
Intellectual attraction seems the easiest to say yes to. If a couple has grown together on what they are able to share in terms of knowledge one with another then it seems to me that once they have "recovered" from the break up then it would be easy enough to talk again and regain the friendship. As I write this an epiphany hits that this is most likely because they were able to communicate during the relationship more than just their attraction. The other two involve much less verbal communication beyond the "I think you're hot" genre.
Tell me what you think. Am I off my rocker? Do I have a solid grasp? What do you think of this quandary?
You know, I've never thought of it in this way, but it's totally true. I agree.
ReplyDeleteYou have some very solid points. I think it also depends on how much they 'needed' each other. Did they date because they cared about each other, or did they date because they wanted a relationship? Thinking about that makes it interesting too.
ReplyDeletePretty good points, that I would have to say I do think so for the most part
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful how you divided them, functionally of course. I think that most people don't realize that there are different types of relationships stemming from one point or another. different reasons of attraction. Not that you cannot have a relationship that obtains more than one of these categories but they are good indicators of where a relationship starts. I also like that you make a point of the period of recovery after that loss of intimacy as well. I've seen a lot of old relationships blow up in a whole new way when the recovery period is ignored or aggressively infringed upon by one of the party. I believe you have a solid grasp but that is to say nothing of practice. As I've little to no experience.
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